Tears!!

I have seen, heard and shed so many in the last 5 months. Anytime I think about how Stella came to join us I tear up. The week leading up to her arrival when I tried not to think about the possibility of a girl but then just incase made a little pink heart onesie. The night we found out that she would be ours and the screaming tears that followed the phone call from our case manager. The tears from thinking that all those nights of wanting it to happen sooner and how God had a way better plan. Tears for love at first sight when they brought her to us and she smiled instantly at the sight of me, her mother forever. Tears when I think of the three days in the hospital all by herself. Tears seeing people with tears that I did not expect to be so moved. Tears for having no idea what i was doing on the day she was being born.  For the sweetest foster family who took her in and did all the really hard work, middle of the night feedings especially. For the amazing Lawyer who represents our girl and pushed for her to be with us after finding our blog and hearing our hearts.  for the sweetest little girl face I have ever seen. Tears for the biological mom that will never know this sweet baby girl. Most of all tears for an incredibly intricate plan that has left me baffled by God's power his omniscience and the story that he is writing through Stella and our family.

Scarf Bibs!

A new little Bright Spot

Stella Joy You have been the most unbelievable blessing to us. When I would pray for a brother or sister for Boston, I always expected a boy. Although Boston always asked for a sister. The likelihood of us getting a girl had always seemed very low so I didn't even consider it. I knew for sure that we would also get this little toddler, the likelihood of us getting a baby was very low, so again I didn't even consider it. Seeing the stories and faces of these children in crisis was heart breaking. All the trauma and I knew, we were in for heart ache and hard work, for attachment disorders and therapy. Then came you. A Girl! Less than 2 months, sleeping through the night. Smiley, happy, healthy. A real dream. God had given us more than we had dreamed of.. Two months in and I still wonder how we got so lucky. I know that God brought you to us, but I also know that we don't deserve that kind of blessing. We are just sinners. Big time. It reminds me that in the times that are hard, and I can't understand why, sometimes we just DON'T KNOW . I find it so easy to accept, not understanding, when it is a blessing but not as easy to accept when it is a new challenge that God has brought me. All the while I know both blessings and challenges are part of God's plan for me. There has to be a certain amount of darkness, to be able to see stars and the moon. Everyday I come home to this bright little face that just shines when times feel dark, and God is working and it is better than my dreams for me.

Sewing lessons, I need them!

When my sewing is seen it hurts! Messy as it is, still love this little onesie!

A shower for June in June!

Ruthie's little June is said to arrive September 22nd... I can't wait, hope she got everything she needs and a little more. ;)

Hot pink. Boy. Bowtie

Hot pink+ lace...baby girl skirt

For June! Expected to arrive in September! In love with the hot pink and lace that comes with girls! Until I have my own, girlfriends with girl babies look out!