L. Calcote

Sunday, September 29, 2013

A new little Bright Spot

Stella Joy You have been the most unbelievable blessing to us. When I would pray for a brother or sister for Boston, I always expected a boy. Although Boston always asked for a sister. The likelihood of us getting a girl had always seemed very low so I didn't even consider it. I knew for sure that we would also get this little toddler, the likelihood of us getting a baby was very low, so again I didn't even consider it. Seeing the stories and faces of these children in crisis was heart breaking. All the trauma and I knew, we were in for heart ache and hard work, for attachment disorders and therapy. Then came you. A Girl! Less than 2 months, sleeping through the night. Smiley, happy, healthy. A real dream. God had given us more than we had dreamed of.. Two months in and I still wonder how we got so lucky. I know that God brought you to us, but I also know that we don't deserve that kind of blessing. We are just sinners. Big time. It reminds me that in the times that are hard, and I can't understand why, sometimes we just DON'T KNOW . I find it so easy to accept, not understanding, when it is a blessing but not as easy to accept when it is a new challenge that God has brought me. All the while I know both blessings and challenges are part of God's plan for me. There has to be a certain amount of darkness, to be able to see stars and the moon. Everyday I come home to this bright little face that just shines when times feel dark, and God is working and it is better than my dreams for me.